Oh For The Love…!

On the Miss Ohio message board, under the same post in which I was called out for wrongly taking photos at the finale, someone wrote:

“Besides myself and about 100 other people-who wishes Abby would just be seen and not heard? Actually I'm growing tired of seeing her. Abby-you are a lovely girl but I think the fact that you CONTINUOUSLY try to live vicariously through Miss Ohio is becoming tiresome for the rest of us. But I did love the great pics.”

I’m not going to respond directly to this poster on the message board because A. after only two replies I said I was done responding on that thread, because… B. I don’t want to be a part of fostering negative conversations on that volatile forum when we have a new Miss Ohio we should instead be supporting.

I will, however, respond here, because this is my blog, with which I can do whatever I want! :)

A few things are running through my mind… the first of which is, "seen and not heard?!?!" What? Am I a child? And forgive me for not being humble, but yes, I think I have earned my place to share my educated opinion.

I don’t exactly understand why someone is so sick of little ol’ me… Someone else agreed to the derogatory posting, saying “Abby, butt out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” But I don’t know where exactly I butted in any more than anyone else. I can’t force anyone to log on and read this blog; I assume those who don’t like me or what I post here don’t make this site a regular internet visit.. and that’s fine by me. Other than this, I went to a few pageants this year and recently signed my name to a few posts on a message board…

I gave away my last crown this past fall, and attended three other closed locals (which are “local” to me) as well as the always exciting sweetheart pageant. So I guess I was at a quarter of the pageants, but most other “pageant regulars” were not at those closed locals and I’m not going to apologize for attending to support the program, my friends and in a couple cases, my former titles. It’s not like I’m inundating the system as an emcee and/or entertainer… although those are two things I can do (wink * wink).

Perhaps they’re sick of seeing my name because I actually signed it a whopping three times in one week on a message board that is almost exclusively anonymous. The reality is, it’s probably the same 20 or 30 people who consistently post on the board, it’s just that name-signing is a rarity.

Never mind why someone felt the need to say they’re sick of me, I’m more bothered by the idea that I “CONTINUOUSLY try to live vicariously through Miss Ohio.” That doesn’t even make sense considering this is the first year I haven’t vied to be Miss Ohio! (And I'll likely try the Ohio USA system again if I'm around this fall.)

As I mentioned at the start of Miss Ohio week, because I competed for so long, this first year of not competing came with many emotions. Now that I am aged out there is a certain amount of relief to not have to be “pageant perfect.” On the other hand, I am sad to no longer be with my Miss Ohio friends and family for a week in Mansfield and it is frustrating to look back and think about what I would have done differently in order to be more successful. I will admit that my continued involvement as a news source with this blog has served as a coping mechanism. But I completely disagree with the idea that I am, or have ever tried to live vicariously through the reigning Miss Ohio.

This program has become a norm in my life and that of my parents and close friends. I am not living vicariously; I am living my life and this program happens to have become a big part of it. I know several contestants; I’ve even helped some and lent clothing. I suppose in a few years when I don’t know the contestants I may become distant from the program, or Loren and I may start a local; while I was still competing we talked about being EDs and even what we might call our program. Eric and Linda Wagener would like me to help with their program, and I have agreed IF I am still in this area. I want to stay involved, but hopefully my career takes me out of Toledo.

To call me a bad wanna-be journalist would be more accurate, but living vicariously I am not. In my defense, someone else on the message board noted that former contestants who do not continue to participate are criticized, yet my presence has garnered me the same negativity. That’s the thing about message boards, it’s a place for everyone to post their opinions, and you can never make everyone happy… Oh well.